It is crunch time in the Euro zone. Greece's participation in Europe looks extremely doubtful. Portugal are relying on zee Germans for a Euro bailout. Republic of Ireland Trapped in Euro hell. I am not talking about the Euro zone financial crisis but the European Championship co-hosted by Poland and Ukraine.
Russia and Poland
The Russians and the Poles have had me on the edge of my seat.
Not because I am a voyeur and enjoy watching a good punch up but because
they are playing some exciting football. Andrei Arshavin is reminding
Gooners why Arsene grew his arms to reach into his pocket for him. Lewandoski looks like a
quality Polish striker unlike Miroslav
Klose and Prince Podolski (Judases).
Greece & The Czech Republic
Interest rates in Greece would have been at a decent level pre tournament. After a satisfying start considering the austerity measures in the form of a red card to personnel the Greeks had something to look forward to against the Czechs who had been battered in their first game. In parallel, however, with other Greek domestic matters, the Czechs bounced back with a win over the Greeks in the second match. Greece will need a monster bailout to save them from exiting the Euros.
Germany
Ironically the best two players for the zee Germans are poles apart (not Miroslav Klose nor Prince Podolski). Bastien Schweinsteiger has got to be the most German of German names whilst Mario Gomez has got to be the least German of German names (Mesut Ozil, Sami Khedira, Ilkay Gudogan and Jerome Boateng not included). Never write off zee Germans.
The Netherlands
The Dutch are playing like their landscape - flat. Did Bert Van Marwijk send the team for homeopathic treatment in Amsterdam before the tournament? The only thing colourful about their performance is their orange jersey.
Portugal
The pressure on CR7 is intense but his hair looks great. It looks like he has borrowed Zlatan's Invisible Man outfit.
Denmark
I couldn't believe I heard Dennis Rommedhal's name in the commentary. I remember the days when he used to steam up and down the wing at The Valley. I thought he would be at home with his pipe and slippers. What has happened to Nicklas Bendtner? I always enjoy watching him because he is so full of shit. He is like the Paulie 'Magicman' Magniaggi of football especially with his neon football boots. Anyway, the lad has doubled his strike rate for the season scoring 2 goals so far - equal with super Nando Torres.
Italy
Mario Ballotelli must have stepped into H.G. Wells' time machine
after he pickpocketed Sergio Ramos. Time seemed to slow down when he
was through on goal. I could see the photons leaving my computer screen
as Super Mario had his Matrix moment. Or maybe Ramos ran through a worm
hole and appeared shoulder to shoulder Super Mario.
Republic of Ireland
The Irish did a great job camouflaging with the turf. I did not see them on the pitch against Spain. Spain just had to negotiate their way round 10 man-sized blades of grass. I can think of teams not in the competition who would do a better job than Trapp's team; e.g. The Netherlands (see above). Most effect member of the Irish team: their traveling supporters.
Croatia
Nice kit. Luka to Man U?
Spain
Torres is back after shooting practice with the Irish. I didn't recognise Sergio Ramos with his short back and sides though. Iniesta is pure class. He is the anti Yaya Toure in terms of aesthtics - short and white - but very good at football like Yaya. Spain play really narrow though with Iniesta and Silva cutting in from the flanks.
France
France's left wing has come to prominence. That is true politically as well on the pitch. Franck Ribery is doing a better job
than Arjen Robben in putting the mugging by Chelsea in the Champions
League Final behind him. And Jeremy Menez looks like a proper menace (not in the Patrice Evra in South Africa way).
Ukraine
I haven't watched Ukraine very much but it looks like Sheva is back. Roman, give Sheva a bag full of cash and bring him back to The Bridge
Sweden
It looks like Zlatan has lent his invisible man costume to CR7. I can't wait to get a copy of Zlatan's autobiography, 'Io, Ibra'. There should be more drama and fireworks than a Eurovision Song Contest victory.
England
Two games, 4 points and 4 goals from Roy's boys! Carroll looked effective. In other words he did fall over or give the ball straight back to the opposition. And he scored with a bullet header. Watching that ponytail connect with the ball to guide it into the back of the net was pure poetry in motion. In amongst Scotty Parker
and Steven Gerrard doing their Brownian Motion impression in midfield, England look like they have a clear plan. In Hod we trust.
Conclusion
Great tournament so far with loads of interesting tactical tactics going on behind the scenes especially with regards to Italy Vs Spain. That was a football analyst's wet dream with plenty of dribbling in the box. An England team has a great chance of making it to the final. Howard Webb and his staff should cruise to the final.
The HoDown's Euro moments so far:
Goal of the tournament: The Pole goal pole-axed into the Russian goal
Fluff of the tournament: Mario Ballotelli's absence seizure in front of goal
Header of the tournament: Shay Given, Ireland Vs Croatia
Best moment of magic: Sergio Ramos tackling Mario Ballotelli via a wormhole
Choke of the tournament: Cristiano None-aldo's impersonation of The Invisible Man
Worse decision: Slavan Bilic wearing a beanie with a suit or Del Bosque's decision to play with no strikers
Surprise of the tournament: Republic of Ireland actually qualified for the Euros?
Pass of the tournament: Shay Given's punch out to set up David Silva's goal
A note on the commentary. I have been watching courtesy of ESPN3 so
thank you ESPN for bringing culture to my summer. However, your
commentary is terrible. Casey Keller has got to be the worse commentator
ever to don a microphone. How can a 2 goal lead be dangerous? And that
Taylor guy. What are you talking about? What are you referring to when
you commentate? Are you watching the same game? The anchorman is terrible too using terms like 'stramash'? Do you really think the American audience will know what you are talking about?
