Ants in my pants in Cambodia, October 2015

This blog is like a London bus. It doesn't turn up for any reason then when it does turn up, it is full of crap. Whereas the excellent but overly Victorian Dim Sum Diaries has been procrastinating over whether she is a mac 'n' cheese kind of girl and taking pornographic photos of food, Gastr-Ho-nomics has been busy smashing doors down and contributing to the fragrance in the Fragrant Habour.

But there comes a point when I have to Make America Great Again and Make Gastr-Ho-nomics Great Again. Greatness starts with eating ants. Apparently, the total biomass of Earth's ants is equal to the total biomass of all the humans on earth. We ordered a dish of ants, which would probably scale up to consuming the population of Croydon including Europe's finest queuing up outside Lunar House.

What they say has got to be true. You are what you eat. Just ask Ashley Young (1). Ants eat dirt and soil. Unsurprisingly, a mouthful of ants tasted as if the school bully made you eat a mouthful of dirt from the playground at break time. Not even the sweet and sour sauce could disguise the taste of Earth's earth. The question has to be asked: where did the kitchen get these ants from? Did a diabetic piss in a can and use it to bait and trap the ants? Or did the Mexican government force their most unwanted ants into Cambodia? Many fabulous ants come into our countries and our country is better for it. But these ants are here legally and are being being severely hurt when I smack them with my slipper.

The Ho Down says: Build a great, great wall and make these ants pay for all that.


(1) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-3055159/Manchester-United-winger-Ashley-Young-100-cent-insists-bird-poo-didn-t-fall-mouth-against-Swansea.html