Utterly ridiculous pizza, Commencement, Brown, May 2011

Why is Commencement called Commencement? Surely graduation should be called 'The End' or 'Thank You For Your Guaranteed Greenback For The Last 4 Years." Maybe someone can tell me via a comment.

Do me a favour...

Whilst doing the responsible thing and attending some receptions, I came across this monstrosity by Ronzio. Who in their right mind would attempt to make and sell an edible 28" pizza? Let me put this in perspective. The average rim diameter of a Chevrolet Silverado wheel is 20"; pikeys with champagne taste and lemonade money put 28" rims on their cars; The Natural Energy Laboratory of Hawaii Authority uses 28" water pipes to pump fresh seawater to shore. Now Ronzio makes a 28" diameter pizza... I am stunned like Dave and Cleggy after being lambasted by a bowtie wearing consultant at Guy's Hospital.

Opening the huge lid I expected a huge whiff of pizza aroma. Instead I got a whiff of damp cheesy air; and instead of seeing a 28" on delightful pizza, I was greeted by dishevelled passed-by-sell-by-date Take That groupies that masqueraded as toppings. For such a large pizza, the slices were miniscule, perhaps the size of The Young Lions' chances of being kings of Europe after their two limp displays in Denmark. After taking my first booze fueled bite, I think I will join the Unions' protest this summer. This pizza must have felt the full brunt of fiscal cuts as this was devoid of any taste. It was as tasteless as Katie Price and reports of her daily activities. In fact, Katie's new Ronseal tan was more interesting than masticating on this disaster. The only saving grace of this abomination was that it was rather good at soaking up the alcohol that I was imbibing. This stuff should have been prescribed to the sozzled bints at Take That's concert.

The Ho Down says: Ronzi-No