Dinner at Julian's was one of two cultural things Farmosty and I did on the Farmosty weekender. The other was going to an art exhibition but I was still gin-trified from the night before, and I was prairie dogging so that cultural jaunt does not really count.
After waiting for a no-show from SpaceHopper, the most incomprehensible buffoon I know, we decided to mission it down Broadway. SpaceHopper is more evidence arguing against Creationism. Only the lottery of genetics and evolution allows for such a herbert. God would never have messed up. You have more chance completing a crossword puzzle in the Voynich Manuscript than following the train of thought from a conversation with SpaceHopper. Honestly...
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| Light beers to dark beers. East Side; Mount Hope; Camp Street |
Julian's is hipster. My definition of hipster is: 'lots of tattoos, some good, some horrendous; body odour; someone you would hesitate to introduce to your mum'. Inside is like being in a strange time warp. Imagine stepping into the only night club in Homs (in 2013). Mysterious, broody and shouldn't really be there but is. So good for you, Julian's. The bathroom or 'Throne" is worth a visit. Stand and admire the random action figure toys on the walls. Alternatively, sit and watch a cartoon on loop on a small CRT TV. I was half expecting Bubbles (1) to crawl out from a trap door and offer me a couple of leaves of toilet tissue after shaking.
We weren't offered a menu, but simply pointed to a chalk board. I don't understand why Sherman Tanks like to sit in an air conditioned room when outside is perfect for some chit chat over dinner. We sat outside of course and ordered some flights of German and Belgian beer to wet our whistles. I sincerely recommend trying their beers. Thank me later.
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| Pork chop |
In true bloke style, I scanned the menu and made an instant decision. Pork chop for me please. Something nice and kosher. Farmosty got the sirloin steak (which was great!). The wait was excruciating. What were they doing in the kitchen? Incubating progenitor cells (2) to make my pork chop while comparing tattoos? When my meal did finally arrive I can say that it was just about worth the wait. The black things were some sort of rice thing and the other sauce stuff had just about enough zest to massage the taste buds. The pork chop itself was juiced up like Alex Rodriguez. It was definitely a big hit for me. Together, the medley of lemony hummus, chickpea-fennel-pea shoot salad and pork was as pleasurable on the palate as a Berlusconi headline in La Repubblica - bitter sweet.
The Ho Down says: Tatts great!
(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubbles_%28chimpanzee%29
(2) http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-23529841
A much more cultured night than previous excursions in London, such as the all-you-can-eat pizza extravanganza, a feat worthy of man vs food!
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