Apologies for taking nine months for an update. No, I was not knocked up. Being unemployed for almost a year is hard work. Time to sit and write about what goes into my mouth is harder than the shit that comes out of it. I was actually motivated by an excellent and tame rival food blog. Ale of DSD, can I guess what is on your Tinder profile? 'I am a foodie. I love travelling <insert picture of me and tiger here>'???
So what has been going on? Major life changes. Give yourself a bacon sandwich for guessing where I am right now. A clue? There are so many restaurants here that you could stuff your face in a different one everyday for the rest of your lifetime. Another clue? SAR does not stand for Severe Acute Respiratory (Syndrome). Anyway, a couple of highlights...
Din Tai Fung, Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon
A one Michelin Starred dim sum restaurant in Kowloon. Nothing much to write about. Like Manchester United, it's not all that. One thing of note was the drunken duck’s tongue. Drunk because it is supposedly soaked in some sort of booze. It tasted like it was fished from the bottom of a salt and vinegar crisp packet. A duck’s tongue is longer and thicker than you think. I was even more surprised when I nearly broke my teeth on my first bite because the fucker has a bone in it. Did you know that dogs have a bone in their penis? I sucked on multiple tongues as if I were in Magaluf but to this day I am still undecided whether I like it or not. Its texture can only be described as a Mont Blanc eraser.
The Ho Down says: not sure if it set my tongue wagging.
Australia Dairy Farm, Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon
Now we are talking business. This place was so high up the Colonel Gadaffi scale of bizarreness, it could serve you scrambled rat dropping and it would still be great. I personally would have passed up on this place because I would have mistaken it for an Aussie outhouse, and inside looks, quite frankly, as appealing as spending an afternoon in an abortion clinic. The scrambled eggs must have been cooked in lard because it was actually really nice. The spam/luncheon meat was just out of this world in a bizarre way that altogether is gets one Gadaffi star.
The macaroni in weird broth stuff would have definitely got the Italians reaching for Arizona State prison’s stocks of midazolam and hydromorphone, but bizarre does not follow any logic and this overcooked macaroni thing earnt a second Gadaffi star. The milky tea thing was so strange that I think Barak Obama based his IS strategy on working out what this tea thing is. To complete the third Gadaffi star, the seating arrangement meant getting intimately silent with a couple of R. Andoms and the billing system is allegedly based on the material of your cup (or something similarly ingenious).
The Ho Down says: Like Australia, completely unrefined but something you just love seeing getting stuffed.
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