Soul on a plate, Seoul, November 2015

I had been well up for Seoul for quite some time. This place is a complete enigma. Being one of the most homogeneous countries in the world, its Asian culture strongly parallels Western culture with all the boozing and razzmatazz associated with the likes of New York. As this is a food blog that tries in earnest to compete with the excellent but arid Dim Sum Diaries, I will talk nosh.

1) Kimchi  This stuff is more ubiquitous than air. It's spiciness is short, sharp and captivatingly addictive. Be warned. Kimchi is like a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 - spicy enough ignite your day.

2) Korean fried chicken  This is what the Colonel's chicken should be. The opposite of what Rocky Balboa's face is after a dust up with Apollo Creed, this is lightly battered and doesn't leave you feeling guilty about the potential state of your levels of HDL but you need plenty of matches the following morning. I personally prefer the plain Korean fried chicken. The BBQ sauce is nice but after a point it feels like you are munching through sweet bitumen.

3) Korean BBQ  What a great concept. They give you the raw meat and you cook it yourself. If you get the two bob bits and redecorate your toilet bowl eight hours later, it is your fault for not cooking it properly. The barbie somewhere in Insadong was good stuff. The menu was in foreign and positioned right next to the pit so you ran the risk of melting your face trying to look at the photos. All meat looks the same in foreign anyway.

4) Raw beef and squirming octopus
I was told that you have chew the bastard right through and get your amylase flowing like enzymatic lava so there will be zero chance of the critter octopussying you. On a side note, you don't realise how strange an octopus is until you see its arms and legs squirming around on your plate after it has been chopped up. The raw beef was like cold sweet raw meat. It has abdominal cramps and diarrheoa written all over it but it is strangely satisfying to see what it is like to be a lion. Rar!

Thank you, Farmosty for the video 👍

5) Beer and Soju
Hite is my personal favourite beer. It is refreshing and is made for people lacking in alcohol dehydrogenase by people without alcohol dehydrogenase. But it still fucks you up like a white man's beer. Hite goes own as easily as Monica Lewinsky. Add a shot of soju and you will be guaranteed a headache after a night in the Oral Office. Good stuff.

The HoDown says: KFC is the new KFC.